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I had an interesting conversation about resignation yesterday. What happens when one removes themselves from their hearts knowing in lieu of the “knowing” of the group …the general norm of a faction of some sort or another.
To force oneself into resignation eventually breeds contempt, and perhaps, some pretty toxic outpouring at some point. Or maybe just a slow death, the deadening of the senses… and sometimes the death of innocent victims…

Of course this conversation was instigated by some Christian Doctrines that hover nearby… As they seem to do.

I came up with some pretty heavy Christian suppression.
My grandmother was a toxic born again christian. She found the lord on one of my Grandpa’s trips out with the USO. He came home to a letter from the Metropolitan Opera Company and my grandmother’s new found faith. The letter was accepting him as the new Lead Baritone in the company, her faith in the church and his unwavering love for her disallowed him from taking the position. Opera, you see, is secular music- taboo in the Christian community.
My grandfather heeded his wife’s insistence, and began to die that afternoon. A slow death that lasted a lifetime. It was not until her deathbed that she realized just how much he loved her… She never told me that she knew she took away his life force with her fanaticism. But she told me in her own way when she said, “Never be with a man who doesn’t treat you like a Goddess.” I heard her. She was on her way to meet him in Heaven (she hoped) and she was acknowledging him finally. I know she was afraid it was too late… She had her doubts about reaching their heaven…
I do hope the fear didn’t win out.

Anyway, Imagine my surprise when I saw the news yesterday afternoon, the earlier conversation ringing in my ears.


The News.. Oh boy….

What did we have in the news?
The two top stories…

The body of young Chelsea King has been found…. Apparently she was violated and then murdered by someone who should indeed have been given the max sentence, (Suggested by the key psychiatrist) in a molestation case back in 2000. The psychiatrist felt that his lack of remorse or accountability made him an unlikely candidate for rehabilitation. Six years time served had him back out on the streets, not only violating but, killing a young woman not ten years later.
Which brings us to top story number two…. The same story, really, only BIGGER.

The Vatican.
The oh so Pius and repressed VATICAN… The greatest suppressor of all.
Under the auspices of former Cardinal Joseph Ratsinger, head of the Archdiocese in Munich, Germany (the current Pope Benedict XVI) “Hundreds [more] people have come forward in the last few months with accusations of abuse by priests. New details emerged Saturday about a case in the Munich Archdiocese that the church [or shall we say Cardinal Joseph Ratsinger] has acknowledged it made “serious mistakes” in handling.” To paraphrase the NY TIMES

What is it that makes it okay to cover up the actions of priests who have in abusing their responsibilities abused people? Why does the “church” get away with such transparent suppression, only for us sinners to find out later that the real sinner is the Church? Where violators are not only supported, but their actions are covered up and hidden from the public, and…
AND ALLOWED to continue inflicting the sick and twisted results of their own repression.

Here we are again folks; repress who you really are and feel the toxins. You can pretend that their beliefs are your beliefs. You can try to believe “it” whatever “it” may be, but if “it” ain’t really you, then you are doing a disservice to yourself and in turn, to the whole of the Universe.

I rarely go a hunting for news. In fact it often turns my stomach and I am left feeling unproductive 99% of the time when I do happen upon it . Last week I was inspired by Ashburn and his suppressive, repressive antics, to write based on the news, and this week, we move to the Church. Same antics it seems.
Both top stories yesterday were exactly the same. Give the reigns to an oppressor, a violator, and see what happens when you let them go… There is no difference between the current pope, and the sleezebag who violated Chelsea King. It may not have been his hand that feltched those young boys and girls, but in hiding the story, and sending the priests in question back out to “duty” it may as well have been his hand.
When are the Pillars of the churches going to finally crumble? (As Chris Cornell has said so prophetically once again… Tear all your temples down… I’m on a mission now) They seem to be working hard at it.

Is there something in the air? perhaps the planets?
While looking into the planets idea, I happened upon an article on planet waves, it seems that Utah has just passed a law outlawing miscarriages…

I think I need to stop here… I am starting to get that pit in my tummy….

The lyrics of these two songs, written by Chris Cornell, who apparently had some intense shit to shake on the same subject, say it all. Read on….

Holy Water
Holy water on the brain and I’m losing sleep
Holy bible on the night stand next to me
As I’m raped by another monkey circus freak
Trying to take my indignance away from me

Holy water is rusting me

Bloody murder is the best I’ve heard her scream
Holy devil in the flesh some might believe
And they take thine majesty so seriously
It’s the big lies that are more likely to be believed

Holy water is rusting me…. It’s rusting me

Damn the water if it’s life you want to drink
Mind your mother if it makes you feel at ease
As you’re raped by another monkey circus freak
It’s the big lies that are more likely to be believed

Holy water is rusting me…. It’s rusting me

(written by Chris Cornell )

Wooden Jesus

Wooden Jesus where are you from?
Korea or Canada or maybe Taiwan
I didn’t know it was the Holy Land
But I believed from the minute The check left my hand,
and I pray

Can I be saved? I spent all my money On a future grave
Wooden Jesus I’ll cut you in On twenty percent of my future sin

Porcelain Mary her majesties pure
Looking for virgin territory
Coat hanger halos don’t come cheap
From television shepherds with living room Sheep,
and I pray

Can I be saved? I spent all my money On a future grave
Wooden Jesus I’ll cut you in On twenty percent of my future sin

(written by Chris Cornell )

If you wonder why I left the Mr. Out from in front of Ashburn’s name…
I was inspired:
Excuse Me Mr

Oh – excuse me Mr.
Do you have the time,
Or are you so important that it stands still for you?
Excuse me Mr.
Want you lend me your ear,
Or are you not only blind but do you not hear?
Excuse me Mr. but isn’t that your oil in the sea,
And the pollution in the air Mr.,
Whose could that be?

So, excuse me Mr.
But I’m a mister too.
And you’re givin’ Mr. a bad name,
Mr. like you.
And, I’m taking the Mr. from out in front of your name,
’cause it’s a Mr. like you that puts the rest of us to shame.
It’s a Mr. like you that puts the rest of us to shame.

And I’ve seen enough,
Oh – I’ve seen enough,
I’ve seen enough to know that I’ve seen too much.

Excuse me Mr.
Can’t you see the children dying?
You say that you can’t help them,
Mr. you’re not even trying.
Excuse me Mr.
Just take a look around.
Oh, Mr. just look up and you will,
You’ll see it’s coming down.
Oh, excuse me Mr. but I’m, I’m a mister too.
And you’re givin’ Mr. a bad name,
Mr. like you.
So, I’m taking the Mr. from out in front of your name,
’cause it’s a Mr. like you that puts the rest of us to shame.
it’s a Mr. like you, puts the rest of us to shame.

And I’ve seen enough,
I’ve seen en…, I’ve seen en…,
I’ve seen enough to know that I’ve seen too much.
I’ve seen enough,
Oh – I’ve seen enough to know that I’ve seen too much.

’cause Mr. when you’re rattling on heaven’s gate.
By then it is too late.
’cause Mr. when you get there,
They don’t ask what you saved.
All they’ll want to know Mr. is what you gave.
So, excuse me Mr.
But I’m a mister too.
And you’re givin’ Mr. a bad name,
Mr. like… you.

So, I’m taking the Mr. from out in front of your name,
’cause it’s a Mr. like you puts the rest of us to shame.
Mr. like you, puts the rest of us to shame.
Oh…
…shame.
(written by Ben Harper)

3 thoughts on “Holy Water

  1. I feel very very lucky to have not grown up in the church. I am not and never have looked for salvation, nor do i want to be saved. Every religion is based on a fear of death. The jamaican version of ‘church’ leaves me reeling. During the end of slavery here, unless one converted to Christianity, they were hung. Wouldn’t one at least QUESTION the beliefs imposed upon them? Rastas continue to quote from the bible as if it were the only book ever written. This book is evil, and mean spirited in every way. Can anyone quote a pleasant uplifting tale from it? When I brought 7 kids to the beach to learn to swim, they baptized each other for play first. It’s all they know. I will forever remain baffled. I would go so far as to say that 90% of the single moms here cannot care for their own kids but this still hasn’t changed a thing. The preachers who have their hand in the til can afford gas for their cars to get them to the next parish where they breed more ‘outside’ kids. These ‘outside’ kids are a part of the jamaican family structure even though they continue to be disenfranchised and marginalized. It’s my lack of tolerance for the ignorance that gets me every time!

  2. i may be suffering but i’m not alone
    we all want something to call home
    but you build your walls with power
    and you think it holds you safe
    time is running out of hours
    who will welcome your embrace?

    i think it’s crazy what you think runs through my veins
    when fear deludes you to inflicting pain
    see, your the cell mate of your own disgrace
    can’t even stand to look him in the face

    but what you fear will kill you
    if you think beauty is a thing to kill
    what you fear will kill you
    but it can only strengthen my will

    first you beat us off our feet
    knock us face down on the ground
    blood is boiling in the streets
    your world revolves around that sound

    but i seek shelter in overcoming fear
    and that is something that you fear to do
    i think maybe if there was a hell
    hell would be afraid of you

    i don’t dig up those faulty bricks you thought you set in stone
    so that i can throw them at you
    instead i choose to build a home
    where only love will combat you

    i may be suffering but i’m not alone

  3. I tried to send this to Rachel direct because it’s so personal, but it got erased and I can’t find it either so I’ll just post because I’m really feeling this topic. Also, Rachel, your grandma gives good relationship advice. With all the news about the Catholic church, miscarriage laws and etc., I was reflecting on it because, having had horrible life long bad vibes from my Roman Catholic grandparents, I did not want to take my son to church last year, but he kept begging me. I finally gave in and talked to him about why I disagree, what I disagree with, and figured I would be OK. It took about 9 months before the situation got too toxic for either of us to handle. The thing is a really thought I was doing the right thing…during the six months I attended church my teeth began to go bad, and I developed terrible pain and anemia which was traced to tumors in my uterus. Everyone convinced me it would be a good idea to get a hysterectomy….Just the other day I saw my bible buried under some papers and pulled it out. There was a bookmark. It was an appointment for my GYN, marking a passage in the old testament on the importance of sacrifice. It’s amazing how by doing what we think is right sometimes we commit the worst kinds of evil.

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